Control Mirage

So I’ll be joining the  ‘FFA’  soon. Fully Fledged Adults that is.

You know you’re an FFA when your life is as fast paced as those formula one cars!

You graduate from school, start working an 8-5 and those to-go coffee mugs become your literal life plus all of a sudden you no longer crave for weekend plots, you also start considering moving out from your parent’s home even though you don’t know where to start and thus you join groups on Facebook that promise to help you get that ka-nice bedsitter in south B and gosh for some reason, Sundowner on KBC Radio becomes such a welcomed breather!

So yeah…story of my soon to be life.

Don’t get me wrong though…I’m absolutely looking forward to the perks that come with adulting and being a legit FFA but there is something that has been bothering me about it all.


I’m constantly bombarded by the pressure to be perfect. The pressure to fill my life with that good job, those certificates, those projects, those leadership positions, that great social life. To climb up that corporate ladder and still be a one day great home-maker. To make paper and reward myself with a vacation in Cambodia, and to make sure that my entire life is picture perfect…basically have it all together because after all, God only helps those who help themselves right? 

Our culture glorifies hashtags like #OnThatGrind#SelfMade and #HustleHard and if you and I would be really honest, we do too!

We all want to be busy ‘grinding’, because heaven forbid if we don’t grind, we will not make it in the real world!

And I’m sure we’ve all been approached by sweet, well meaning people who keep repeating to us that old age lie, “God only helps those who help themselves”…but abeg now…why then will I need God’s help when I can already help myself? 

I appreciate the virtues of hard work, discipline, consistency and integrity more so as a Christian. Not only because Paul rightly talks about the importance of hard work in 2nd Thessalonians 3:10, 1st Thessalonians 4:11 and 1st Timothy 5:8 but more so because Jesus, He that I live for and serve was the perfect epitome of hard-work, discipline, consistency and Integrity. Not only so, but also because  I am expected to live as He did, work as He did, serve as He did and allow He that is Alive in me be seen by all…but the one thing we all need to remember is…

“You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” Proverbs 19:21 NLT

I read something that wrecked me the other day… Our constant busyness is not really about productivity or high aspirations. It’s about control. It’s about the lie that we run our lives, not God.” 

We have allowed this really fast-paced life to make us believe that we have to have control and when this doesn’t prove to be true, we beat ourselves down, forgetting that we are known, held, loved and cared for by the one who has our life’s purpose in His hands.

Consider this, He who did not even spare His only son for your sinful life, why would he fail to keep His promises to you? Why would He fail to provide? Provide the right jobs, the right opportunities, the right spouse, the right hairstyle to the right car. Isn’t He worthy to trust? Doesn’t His record speak for itself?

His word has so many promises that you can cling to rather than the false hopes of this world.

From Him promising to complete every good work that He started in you (Philippians 1:6), to giving you all that you need to live an abundant life (2nd Peter 1:3), from declaring that through the waters and the fire you will not be overwhelmed nor burned (Isaiah 43:2) to giving you the ability to ask for anything and it will be given to you (Matthew 21:22)…

Oh we of little faith!

What makes you and I as believers different from the people of the world if we go about life worrying and pacing and striving and stressing? Jesus calls the people who worry about all these things pagans! (Luke 24:30)

Now does that mean that I have been given the license to just sit and let life bypass me? Short answer-No! Long answer-Uuum, No!

Best believe that I have dreams and aspirations that I will seriously work hard for, but by God’s Grace I will never allow myself to be stressed when I don’t accomplish my exact idea of the future.

From climbing up that corporate ladder to being a good wife and mother, from daily working out my salvation, to working around my life’s purpose…I refuse to allow the lies of this world make me a troubled soul. I know who I belong to and I know He is forever doing right by me, even in those difficult times. I rely on His promises and not on anything I have done or I’m capable of doing.

Ashton Eleazer in her article for DesiringGod says;

“All of our labors and planning should be done for this reason alone: – that Christ would be made magnified, whether in my success or in my failure. Those who are lost, rely on shining resumés, hard work, and good looks. We rely on the God who promises us “all things” even every bad circumstance turned to good if we would just receive it as a gift.”

So yes, I’ll be an FFA soon, but one with a difference.

One who will lay aside the mirage of being in control and one who wont be too consumed with the things of the world. An FFA who will seek to pursue the things of the Kingdom of God first and will work hard in all that she does, not as unto man but as unto the Lord and even when things fall by the way side..I will keep trusting His promises.

Lay aside the mirage that you need to be in control of your life and let He who always has been in control do His thing in your life.

Grace and Peace!

P.s, FFA is totally a made-up word! I hope it will catch on though…Lol!

Also, look out for a new series that will be coming out real soon on adulting, Christian adulting that is! 

14 thoughts on “Control Mirage

  1. Welcome to team FFA dear and congratulations on managing uni life! Life post that is so tricky and exciting especially at the firsts few phases but you get accustomed to everything with time, i believe.

  2. *slow clap* Amazing piece Nicole!! Hardhitting and real.My fellow Christians keep saying how they are not conformed to this world but keep buying and selling the materialistic ideals of this world “Live more,work more,earn more”.Its absurd. I walk through church gates exhausted from being forced to participate in the never ending ratrace (the race to be better than everyone else), expecting to find some relief but alas the race only intensfies in these hallowed halls,and i am left confused. I digress…Thank you for being real and honest Nicole.:)

    1. Oooh Debbie! 🙂

      We should have coffee and a heart-to -heart on this one.

      Thank you for being real and open as well and I absolutely appreciate you and all your support.

      Be blessed love!

  3. Such great insight and wisdom, your post hit home in such a simple, subtle and most honest way. Bookmarked!
    I loved it.

  4. Amazing stuffI am a new reader☺☺and this just got to me.God’s taking you places my dear☺Decrease as He increases in your lifeGood Job.You’re an amazing soul

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